Life After Death

Posted: 30th January 2008 13:06 ∞ Categories: Random ∞ Comment RSS: RSS 2.0

I keep thinking how cool it would be to run into one of those people who claim to talk to the dead or to spirits. I’m not sure if it’d be more of a test for the reality of their abilities or the reality of my companion. Meridjet says that when people die, there is a part of them that remains exanimate (for example, a living memory, maybe part of the so-called Akashic records), and can be tapped into and animated if necessary. It is not necessarily the actual person hanging out in ‘heaven’ that people like John Edward communicate with, but that fossil that remains. Any spirit could animate that fossil, if I understand correctly. I call that fossil a ‘shade.’

Meridjet, though he is formerly human, doesn’t have much memory of the details of his most recent life. He knows certain things, and if he needs to can somehow research more, but apparently all that isn’t really necessary to the overall evolution. There is some letting go process after death. However, unlike most theories I’ve heard (e.g. shedding the Ruach), something of a personality seems to survive or transcend the process. He does have his own quirks and characteristics, and he does experience emotion, though he does not often lose control to an emotion. He is very cool to watch when angry, because it’s compartmentalized and he can function totally normally (with full relaxation) on one level while seething off to the side about that one issue. I can feel the differentiation. I aspire to being able to do that, eventually. Even if he’s angry at me about Subject A, subjects B through Z and all other interaction with me are fine.

He is not even close to being the same being he was when he first came to me. He has evolved quite a bit, most of that during his time away from me from 1996 to 1999. I don’t know what to call him anymore. “Discarnate human” is convenient, but I’m not sure how accurate that is now. I am not sure how to define “angel.” He is simultaneously worthy of exaltation and yet quite reachable. (My experiences of archangels are that they are usually formal but still friendly enough. One in particular was very surprisingly humorous, jovial, and laid back. A real surprise.) I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a plain old “angel.” I remember once a long time ago, I saw my guide on a visual quest to a subtle plane, and immediately thought him an angel. It was quite an impact, seeing him, and he was wearing a “robe” containing colors that can’t be found here. Azrael (Sheila’s companion) has said that angels are those who came before us. That seems like as good a definition as any. Meridjet does say that there is no hierarchy as we tend to perceive of it. It’s a matter of learning and evolution, of ‘further’ rather than ‘higher.’ I don’t really comprehend it completely.

He says that based on my current definition of the Thelemic Holy Guardian Angel, that he fits; my definition of HGA is basically an autonomous higher being that is also a part of oneself in some way, and who guides and helps you in your evolution. He himself doesn’t have much use for the label one way or the other. I just accept things for what they are and enjoy them, and learn. I’ read one view that the HGA is an autonomous spirit that works in conjunction with a person/being’s higher self to lead them to their True Will. This is almost exactly how I’d describe him (though he is still in some essential way connected to me). Whether or not anyone else would say that’s an HGA, or whether he is, I don’t know. But I don’t go around thinking of him as some great and powerful being who I need to be in awe of, because frankly that would be, um, yuck. What I do think is that he knows my True Will better than I do, by far, and takes me toward it despite my best efforts to fuck up the situation at any given time. I strive to do what needs to be done, but I’m a long, long way from being able to guide this ship by myself. I’m enormously grateful for his help, whatever anyone wants to label him.

Previous Home Next