Introduction to the New Site

Looking out upon a world of possibilities.

Good morning, everyone, and I hope your day is off to a great start! I thought I might take this opportunity to tell you about the new site and what it means, why I elected to do it, and what you can get out of it. I apologize for not getting to this sooner, but Continue reading →

A Little Post on Karma

Sometimes healing means giving something up.

Karma is so much simpler than most people think, particularly those of a New Age or “newbie pagan” bent. If you snarl at people all day, pretty soon people snarl back, yes? When you put something out there, it immediately begins the journey back to you — some things just take longer to arrive than Continue reading →

I Am Psychologically Disturbed

Just a little freaky, is all.

Quote by Jude Law as “Doctor Watson” in 2010′s Sherlock Holmes, and which I use on a page I’m working on. One of the clutter items I’m drowning in is notebooks. Spiral bound, ledger, datebooks, diaries, 3-ring binders of various sizes, and so on. I have stacks of notebooks, either blank, full, or with various Continue reading →

Astral Plane and Food Offerings

Okay, I had to stay and show you this one. It brings up several practices that might affect those with spirit companions, and other folks will find interesting as well. From 22 October 2003:

Last night, we replayed first meeting again. I was having a hard time perceiving him on any level (except astral) and have likewise had problems today. Sometimes I can tell he is there, but that’s about all. He wrote a letter to Don today, but to be honest I half think I did it. I did feel him last night during chats, and somewhat in bed but it was not strong once chat was over.

I miss him, but feel like it’s not a longterm thing and that he’ll be stronger soon. I really don’t like

Teaser Memory

Perhaps it hasn’t been readily apparent in this blog recently, but I’m very much an optimist. I have always been a live-in-the-moment type of person, and while that can get me into trouble financially due to not thinking ahead, it does a world of good for my peace of mind. It’s not a perfect system, but what is?

Through Meridjet, I learned to let go of things I have no control over. I learned patience, tolerance, and adaptability. Back in the early days in Seattle, when Xanquela, Meridjet and I were first starting to practice what I came to call “Processing,” we used to encounter regular exercises in the art of letting go. I noticed that releasing a fear (and it’s all based on fear, that holding too tightly

Continuance and Some Explanation

My sleep schedule is completely wonky right now, so I got up at 2:30 a.m. (It’s now 5:09 a.m.) I could probably sleep pretty easily again, but I slept nearly 10 hours, so I’m going to piddle around with the site a little bit before giving in and lying down again. I hope y’all don’t mind putting up with me a while.

This next archival post is from 12 October 2003 and refers to the one I posted yesterday, from 11 October. There’s some redundancy:

“Yesterday Meridjet was mostly silent, and when I could hear him he was still being manipulative and contradicting himself over and over (making it obvious that it was intentional). So I basically stewed in the Process all day, and damn if I could tell if anything

Archival Post – Meridjet Manipulation

In an archival post from 11 October, 2003, I refer to Meridjet’s methods of manipulating my emotions for the purpose of helping me see things. I refer to this as “Processing.” I started out referring to the processes of discovery via his manipulation and guidance, and gradually the word became a label, with a capital P. So now I have Processes in which I utilize processing to process what he wants me to learn. It’s a little on the ridiculous side, but it works for me. The post reads:

“The Process came to the surface quite intensely yesterday. Meridjet was playing me like a violin, manipulating my emotions all over the place and hence bringing up a lot of little issues of the type you try to repress and buck

Archival Post – Fear and Doubt

Another archival post. Between reading this post and updating the site over the last couple of days with regard to tags and categories, I’m firmly reminded that I still have yet to write the detailed post on doubt I promised a while back. I should probably get a notebook to keep a list of intended subject matter, but right now I have so many lists that I can’t find one for the 80 others piled haphazardly on top of it. To say I need to get better organized is something of an understatement, but there is progress on that front already. This week, alas, has been a sort of bubble of nightmarish worries overtaking regular activity, but if you ignore the last four days, things are moving smoothly along

Archival Post – “Negs”

In this post from 1 October 2003, I describe an encounter with an entity of the sort I call “Negs,” which is short for “negative entities.” I started calling them that in 1999 upon Meridjet’s return, which is when I first knowingly encountered them. A Neg is a less-evolved spirit that mimics the spirit companion flawlessly (typically with permission, so as to teach discernment) and then, at just the right moment, says or does something out of character for the SC – something hurtful or shocking. The goal is to inspire a strong emotional reaction in the human partner, which the Neg then feeds upon. You can see more about spirits feeding on energy on this page. The encounter described below is fairly simplistic, but a majority of

House Kheperu

I’ve been away for various reasons, and I’m not sure how much attention my various blogs and journals will get in the immediate future, but I’ll do my best to keep up.

Recently, my friend Kinjou Ten introduced me, sort of by proxy, to Michelle Belanger, author of the book The Psychic Vampire Codex and head of House Kheperu. I had heard of her from him prior to this, and from various other folks in passing, but was only vaguely informed on what exactly House Kheperu is and what she’s like. (I know this seems perhaps off-topic for this blog, but bear with me.) The things I’d heard about their paradigm were strange and off-putting, but there was at the same time a sort of glimmer in the back

Sex and Memories

Wowza.

In a post from 21 August 2003, I was listing things from even further in the past that I had been discussing with Don in chat. A bullet list, as it was posted:

  • One time during sex, Meridjet and I spontaneously switched genders. I could physically feel the change in my body and the experience of sex as a male. It went on for a few minutes, and I consciously chose to return to normal, and then tried to switch again but was unable. Should have waited for the orgasm… Don speculates that we were so close, we occupied the same space, or something.
  • Meridjet does good healing. He used to take me into past abuses, sexual ones, and we’d ‘relive’ it mentally, while he replayed the part of

A Short Post on Opening

Is that a cannon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I’ve been busy cleaning house today (well, yesterday, more accurately), trying to get a lot of work done while my roommate is out of town. I haven’t been to sleep yet but I’m heading that way momentarily. I wanted to post a quick archival post from August 19, 2003, so that the blog wouldn’t go without a post for the night.

This post contains potential TMI of a sexual nature, so I’m going to put in a cut. You can read the bulk of it by clicking the link. Also, please ignore the lousy writing. I am tempted to clean it up but I try to leave my archives as they were originally written. I consider it more honest.