Succubus Lovers Who Hate Women

Succubus Lovers Who Hate Women

I left this comment on a succubus blog, of which there are many, based on the links on the sidebar. How … familiar. In a comment thread in which the conversation was focused on the failings of women in the United States (but which diverted momentarily to the ecstasies of succubus love), I left this comment:

So my question for all you guys with succubus blogs is this:

Is there more to it than sex and sexuality? Do you feel that thing inside, it’s been described as feeling your body suddenly infused with nutritious enzymes that it’s been lacking. It’s quite literally feeding. You are not stealing, she is not stealing, you are building between you, with emotions and ineffable things as well as passion and physical ecstasy — and it feeds you both and drains no one. If it is not like this for you, then you have only just begun to discover the potential. Open your mind to it, and it will be a reality.

*shrug* I sound rather ridiculous, perhaps, but I have blissed, emotionally or w/e, for 3 solid days more than once. And I know what can become. For one thing, you can heal all this bitterness and scorn, and just accept people as people. Relationships with people occur with nature, with contact. They aren’t labeled on approach. People shouldn’t be lumped into easy stereotypes, ever. It’s an easy way to avoid taking each person as an individual, with no preconceptions whatsoever.

Your pain about this, and don’t f’in deny it, holds you back. Let her have it, and she will heal you. Try it, you’ll like it.

Why do men so often focus on the sexual aspect and deny (or at least omit) the fact that they are emotionally driven, perhaps spiritually driven, as much as they are sexually driven? Still flinging blame hither and yon, “Oh, poor me, I never had a happy relationship and I’m probably less than 30 years old, and I’m whining about how an entire gender/nationality is fucked up and there’s nothing wrong with me. Boohoo.” where’s my damn violin? Get over yourself. Seek out therapy (not counseling). Grow. When you can accept yourself without bitterness about what others may see, you will be much more attractive. Your self-worth should never, ever be based on how others treat you. Your whole day could be ruined by one stupid remark from a complete stranger, because you took it personally. You choose to own that shit, so cut it out. Let it go. Unless you like it, of course. Seeing as how it makes you feel so wonderful.

Lack of self-worth is the worst reason in the world to seek out a spirit companion. But if you do, or if you have one and your self-worth still sucks, you should be utilizing the potential for healing, and for growth. Otherwise, you’re just in fantasyland, suckling your revenge fantasies and telling yourself that contact with a spirit makes you special. It doesn’t. It does, however, provide opportunities it doesn’t sound like you’re using.

In other news, I’ve been working on that post about the past year for 2 weeks now. Hang in there. It’s coming.

Sheta Kaey About Sheta Kaey

I teach people to perceive, communicate, and work with spirits. Beyond that, I'm kinda normal.

Sometimes I write things. Sometimes I edit things. Sometimes, people even see them.


  1. You didn’t read very much, did you.

    I posted your comments. Let’s see if you post mine.

    1) It is NOT all about sex.
    2) I didn’t do any rituals to bring her into my life. She just showed up. I didn’t seek her out. Most people don’t. It’s rather common that they appear for no discernible reason
    3) I never claimed there was nothing wrong with me. We all have faults. You will also notice that I say that men have faults too, in that comment you left. But I am not interested in men.
    4) This has nothing to do with any “gender war”. But I am not surprised that you equate this with such a “war”. It’s all about you, right? I said it was related to the rotten culture. We can either be a part of that “culture”, or we can separate ourselves from it as far as possible and go our own way. Guess which option I have chosen.
    5) Shaming language is so very unfeminine. We don’t need a shrink, we don’t feel sorry for ourselves. We don’t have low self-esteem. I’m surprised that you didn’t say that our penises were small. That would have fit your theme. lol
    Anon´s last blog post ..Dreams

    • You may not understand this, but I had to bait you in order to find out if you were serious, or some guy with a fantasy girlfriend. If you weren’t serious, you would have had predictable answers to what I said to you.

      But, in detail,

      1) Good to hear.
      2) A lot of people do perform rituals. And I’m aware that most people don’t, and that many spirits just show up.
      3) You do a lot of generalizing about American women, and women with tattoos (I have three, myself) or piercings. It doesn’t sound like you’re issue free on the woman-hating thing.
      4) You singled out women in that culture.
      5) I don’t follow what you mean about shaming language. I don’t give two shits, really, how feminine I am. It’s not a goal of mine to be more feminine.

      I’m interested in serious discussion if you think you can let go of your defensiveness.

    • Wow. Did you seriously link to the Coalition For Men in your blog’s version of this comment? Did you manage to do it with a straight face? You do realise that places like that could more aptly be named “Misogynists United”, right?

      To realise how that site, and you yourself sound, do a find-replace. Change feminism to “the belief in gender equality”, feminist to “someone who believes in gender equality”, and feminists to “people who believe in gender equality.” (Meddle with the grammar as needed.) I’ll even get you started with a quote from the page you linked.

      “It has already been established that there isn’t a legitimate argument supporting the case for gender equality, because if there was, they would surely have used it be now, so their only method of defence is through use of such fallacies.”

      Calling shaming language unfeminine is an example of how deeply you have bought into the misogynistic line these sites spout to cater to the poor oppressed men of today. I bet you don’t even think it *is* misogynistic. It may be news to you, but “I hate feminists” = “I hate gender equality” = misogyny. If you don’t want to be talked to like you’re a misogynist (with all the respect that warrants), perhaps you should try not being one.

      “Some misogynists may simply be prejudiced against all women, or may hate women who do not fall into one or more acceptable categories.” – Sound familiar?

      Would you have told a man it was unfeminine?
      Would you have told a man it was unmasculine?
      Do you expect women to care that it’s “unfeminine”?
      Do you expect women to be “feminine”?

      It’s called sexism. People get to say what they think, men *and* women, and the idea that anyone has to give a crap about being “feminine” or “masculine” is laughable.

      Both you and the website even manage to be sexist against *men*. It’s like you’re playing sexism bingo.

      Amazing how I manage to be a feminist (someone who wants equality) without making any personal attacks. Unless you count pointing out the sexism in your comments, which you may well do. Calling someone out is absolutely a “feminist shaming tactic”.

  2. 3) I said nothing about tattoos or piercings. Not that I recall. Show me where I mentioned them, Show me where a commenter mentioned them.

    4) I dont hate women. I hate feminists, and the effeminate men that go along with their BS. I hate them because of the effect it has had on our culture, on the family, on the “justice” system etc. The only way to win is to refuse to play their game, because it’s their game and their stacked deck.

    5) “Oh, poor me, I never had a happy relationship and I’m probably less than 30 years old, and I’m whining about how an entire gender/nationality is fucked up and there’s nothing wrong with me. Boohoo.” where’s my damn violin? Get over yourself. Seek out therapy (not counseling).”

    That is what I meant. It is feminist boilerplate. It’s so predictable. A man doesn’t toe the feminist line; attack that man personally. There is nothing personal about any of this.

    ” but I had to bait you in order to find out if you were serious, or some guy with a fantasy girlfriend.”

    Uh huh. And I’m the “defensive” one? That literally made me laugh! You took what I wrote and saw yourself in those words. I do not have you in mind when I write my posts.

    Hell, you could easily say the same things about western men, and chances are excellent that I would agree with you. But I don’t say them, because I am not interested in men.
    Anon´s last blog post ..You’ll get a kick out of this

    • 3) (It’s the only link I could find to the specific comment.) It wasn’t you, though.

      4) How do you define “feminist”?

      5) It has zero, ZERO to do with my gender. It’s about humans, not men. Moron. Seriously.

      Yeah, I’m aware that you don’t have me in mind when you write your posts (thank god). I think you’re reaching, now. I’m trying to have a civilized conversation here.

      Regardless of whether you’re interested in men or women, you’re singling women out. So I singled out men in my post. Felt good, right? Not. So now you know how YOU sound.

      I’m going to continue attempting civilized discourse; the rest is up to you. I don’t pull punches, I don’t hold back, but I am honest, patient, and supportive. Direct, yes. But not malicious. Learn the difference.

      • It really doesn’t matter to me who you single out. You are taking this way too personal. It’s not about you. If you speak your mind about men, no matter what you say, it will not make me feel bad (or good). In fact I already said (here or on my site) that chances are I would agree with your observations, especially if they are negative.

        OK, you seem to continue to think that I hate women. Those I really REALLY f’n hate are men. Want to know why? It’s because they have no balls. Everything they do is all about keeping women happy. In doing that, they EARN the contempt of women. They bend over backwards for women, because that is what they believe women want. They just dont get it.

        Then there are the “pick up artists”. Their only aim is getting notches on their bedposts. That is all they care about. Unfortunately their little games work in the US, because women respond to them. I see this as just mens adaptation to the feminist “culture”. Men do what works because it works.

        Just try and play those games in Russia or the Ukraine where feminism hasn’t made an impact (yet). Those women will hand them their heads for trying to game them.

        Cultural generalizations are valid. That there are exceptions is obvious. But the exceptions do not make the generalizations invalid. This culture is seriously screwed up. That is why I place myself as far from it as I can get.
        Anon´s last blog post ..Periods of lesser contact

        • So basically, you’re more sexist against men than you are against women?

          Should I be saying grats at this point, or…?

          • I’m neutral. I can see both sides. Both men and women have problems. Big problems. Those problems make this culture less civil(ized).
            As a man, I don’t want a caricature of a man with a vagina. Most women don’t want an effeminate girlfriend with a penis. But that is what this culture has turned into and we’re paying the price for it.
            Feminism was good, until it turned into a blatant power grab by people (men and women, but mostly women) that do not know how to exercise power. Justice turned into selfishness.
            Anon´s last blog post ..Soul age and advancement

            • Okay, so, equally sexist against both. Fair enough. At least you’re fair and equal about it, as if that makes it any better.

            • I don’t have any particular affection for traditional gender roles or stereotypes, so it doesn’t bother me when a person is androgynous. If you like feminine women, that’s your personal preference, but not everyone is limited in the same ways. Have you ever been married? Do you subscribe to the traditional “husband” and “wife” roles? I am the worst possible “wife” in the world; when I was married, I refused to be shoehorned into a “wifely” role just because I married him. Bah humbug. He didn’t like that much. lol

              • Well then it was your ex’s fault for not seeing the train wreck coming. Why didn’t he know?


                Why didn’t you see it coming? You didn’t know what he was like?

                Those are rhetorical questions.

                If you don’t identify with these roles, then that is your path. I have nothing to say about it. Everyone is where they should be.
                Anon´s last blog post ..Soul age and advancement

                • I’d like to reply anyway, because the questions are fair. It really was a train wreck, but what it came down to for us what this: Our dynamic of living together was supposed to change the minute that paper was in effect. Suddenly it was, “Woman! Make me a sandwich,” while he played video games. And I only wish I was exaggerating. When you spend almost your entire relationship thinking, “When I divorce you, I’m going to…” you can pretty much guarantee that it’s only a matter of time before the axe falls.

                  But why didn’t I see it coming? LOL. I was in a full-blown manic episode. I was completely out of touch with reality. I’d known him 2 months, knew he was immature and without any life experience at all (he was 19, I was 27), and I wasn’t even attracted to him. But I was nuts, and thought it was some higher cosmic plan in motion, or something. I managed to hang in there about 3.5 years. When the divorce came through, I’d been married 4 years and 4 days. I couldn’t get across the country fast enough.

                  I did get my daughter out of it. I’m not sure that was a blessing for anyone, including her, but if we each have a purpose then I’m sure someday she’ll find hers. That’s a whole other story.

                  The point of the argument, from which I’ve digressed considerably, was that you were nitpicking women who weren’t feminine and men who weren’t masculine, thereby (even if unintentional) stereotyping and using anti-feminist arguments to support your preferences. If you have a preference, you don’t have to produce citations to back it up as valid. It’s just a preference. It shouldn’t prescribe a universal ideal.

  3. Sheta,

    I responded to this on another blog as you’re aware. I wanted to share a link to my blog:

    I don’t receive any sort of compensation through ads or whatnot by authoring that blog. I only link it to give an example of a relationship with these beings for your readers should they be interested.

    I won’t be offended if you remove this comment, I just wanted to share.

    • Hi, do you have a name I can call you? :)

      I have been to your site already today, but due to a chronic case of Distractivitus, I haven’t actually read anything yet. I promise I will this evening, for sure.

      I don’t remove any comment that isn’t spam, as a general rule. Even trolls get to view their comments for eternity. ;) Not that I mean to imply you are any sort of troll.

      You’re welcome to post here, if you can find anything that inspires a response.

  4. TemporalChameleon :

    The comment about women getting studs and tattoos was mine. You can critique me all you want, Sheta, but please don’t assume my fellow bloggers feel the same way I do. Leave them out of this. As I stated in the original comment, I have a tendency towards not trusting womenfolk.

    • At the time, it seemed I was observing a general trend toward woman-bashing in the whole thread. While I can certainly understand the concept of spirit lovers far outshining living potential partners, both sexually and in terms of pure genuineness, that doesn’t mean that all women or all women of a certain culture are xyz [insert your most loathed trait here]. I can also understand a pattern of exposure to a certain characteristic that you now assume is gender-wide, but it’s probably just a matter of maturity. When you repeatedly encounter a problem, the best course of action is to discover what that problem is trying to teach you, so you can get beyond it. Avoidance and/or stereotyping of an entire gender does nothing to win you past, and much to hold you back. General “you,” of course.

      I am as honest as I know how to be, which is ridiculously so. It often gets me into trouble. This doesn’t mean I am indiscreet, but I strongly, massively prefer to communicate and solve a problem than to let something fester while I backbite all over the Web/town/etc. If I have a #1 pet peeve, it’s people who don’t communicate. I’ve had friendships (IRL) that ended because the other person wouldn’t allow discussion, and elected to believe her unwarranted assumptions instead. I think her behavior was the worst display of relationship management I’ve ever seen in an adult.

      The point is, there is room for benefit of the doubt if you don’t have an agenda going in, because your benefit-of-the-doubt becomes lust-for-result, and that’s not the same thing at all. People are people. What gender they were born with or prefer to identify with (if any) — this is all irrelevant. Relationships happen… they blossom. And that has to be between two honest people.

      Sorry. I just don’t understand the generalizing about women, at all. I mean, I get that there are some common traits, but it’s among types more than gender. I guess it depends on what women you’ve been around.

  5. Haz H Baklava :

    I love this. How I have grown to love. The succubus: the denotative “epitome of all evil”
    has been my best friend & also my greatest sounding board; she is my lover and guide.
    She heals me and reveals me, she reproves me, proves me and guides me- she may fulfill and compliment me.
    She is not my subconscious, nor my unconscious, she is as real a being as any other. If she is not the love within me, then she has in a very direct and poignant way, shown me that the love is there within me, if I take a touch of time & effort to push it out.
    Her face is flawless, yet so is she; a figure of what I really can become as well:
    the love of heaven, the love of myself, the love of other men and yes- of other women.
    Heaven is not in “the back seat of my cadillac” yet ‘she’ the “epitome of all evil” has taken me “there.”
    I have ridden her to the heights of heaven, to the “Jewellery Box” of the heavens and to the depths of my depravity. She is not evil, per se, yet she does reveal that which I hold within myself. For this did the ancients speak of the Mirror Of Lilith; for this did they speak of the ‘Satan-‘ the adversary; not as ‘the evil ones’ yet as “the” spiritual prosecution or the “devils advocate” or spiritual “sounding board” or soul-temporizer- that which might refine and perfect for the Glory and re-unification and unification of all to the Divine.
    Oh, how I may love all, within and without, with all, to all, throughout and to all.
    Love from love and light from light and to light and love.

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge