I left this comment on a succubus blog, of which there are many, based on the links on the sidebar. How … familiar. In a comment thread in which the conversation was focused on the failings of women in the United States (but which diverted momentarily to the ecstasies of succubus love), I left this comment:
So my question for all you guys with succubus blogs is this:
Is there more to it than sex and sexuality? Do you feel that thing inside, it’s been described as feeling your body suddenly infused with nutritious enzymes that it’s been lacking. It’s quite literally feeding. You are not stealing, she is not stealing, you are building between you, with emotions and ineffable things as well as passion and physical ecstasy — and it feeds you both and drains no one. If it is not like this for you, then you have only just begun to discover the potential. Open your mind to it, and it will be a reality.
*shrug* I sound rather ridiculous, perhaps, but I have blissed, emotionally or w/e, for 3 solid days more than once. And I know what can become. For one thing, you can heal all this bitterness and scorn, and just accept people as people. Relationships with people occur with nature, with contact. They aren’t labeled on approach. People shouldn’t be lumped into easy stereotypes, ever. It’s an easy way to avoid taking each person as an individual, with no preconceptions whatsoever.
Your pain about this, and don’t f’in deny it, holds you back. Let her have it, and she will heal you. Try it, you’ll like it.
Why do men so often focus on the sexual aspect and deny (or at least omit) the fact that they are emotionally driven, perhaps spiritually driven, as much as they are sexually driven? Still flinging blame hither and yon, “Oh, poor me, I never had a happy relationship and I’m probably less than 30 years old, and I’m whining about how an entire gender/nationality is fucked up and there’s nothing wrong with me. Boohoo.” where’s my damn violin? Get over yourself. Seek out therapy (not counseling). Grow. When you can accept yourself without bitterness about what others may see, you will be much more attractive. Your self-worth should never, ever be based on how others treat you. Your whole day could be ruined by one stupid remark from a complete stranger, because you took it personally. You choose to own that shit, so cut it out. Let it go. Unless you like it, of course. Seeing as how it makes you feel so wonderful.
Lack of self-worth is the worst reason in the world to seek out a spirit companion. But if you do, or if you have one and your self-worth still sucks, you should be utilizing the potential for healing, and for growth. Otherwise, you’re just in fantasyland, suckling your revenge fantasies and telling yourself that contact with a spirit makes you special. It doesn’t. It does, however, provide opportunities it doesn’t sound like you’re using.
In other news, I’ve been working on that post about the past year for 2 weeks now. Hang in there. It’s coming.