Don’t I pick the best subject lines? (Not so much.)
I have Crohn’s Disease (since 1993) and a family history of colorectal cancer. I hadn’t seen a gastroenterologist since 2007; I used to see one doctor who retired, and I was passed over to his colleague, who turned out to be a jerk, so I fired him. I just got around to finally getting a new doctor, and I saw her last Tuesday. Since I hadn’t had a colonoscopy since 2007, my new doctor scheduled one for tomorrow. She sort of freaked me out a little because of her reactions to things I was telling her, and her sense of urgency for this procedure.
I googled the symptoms of colon cancer and, ha ha, I have all of them, plus a personal history of polyps and the family history of colon cancer (it’s what killed my grandfather). It would be decidedly weird if I end up with a cancer diagnosis after my desperate bargaining with the Universe recently in which I volunteered to get cancer if I could get the money from my cancer insurance, due to the fact that my financial situation has been bad enough that I’ve been in a constant state of panic for three months. I don’t want cancer, but I figure when I eventually go, that will probably be how, since everyone on my dad’s side of the family has died of some type of cancer.
Today I am on a liquid diet and charming laxatives, and will spend the day within a quick sprint of the bathroom. In my search on how to best choke down the bottle of magnesium citrate [Edit to add: Mix it with a 32-oz bottle of blue Powerade, and you almost don't notice it. It's not overpoweringly sweet/sour that way.], I came across some of those sites on flushing your colon, which is promoted as a way to “detox” your body. You might have heard some of the urban legends (such as the one in Beverly Hills Cop) about how a grown man has 5 lbs of undigested red meat in his bowels, and other similar bullshit. I’m here to tell you that cleansing your colon is highly overrated. Your bowels don’t have anything in them older than about 36 hours, at the most, unless you tend to serious constipation.
To continue this charming post of biological TMI, in my typically oversharing way, my doctor told me the name for something that I’ve had issues with for several years and never asked anyone about before. It’s called “rectocele,” and is a vaginal prolapse wherein the wall of muscle between the vagina and the rectum has weakened. The bowel pushes against that wall and creates a pocket which makes it feel like you still need to go, even when you don’t. It’s problematic; it causes you to strain, which in turn makes the prolapse worse (and is likely what caused it in the first place). And the fixes are unpleasant to contemplate. I’ll learn more when I see my gynecologist on the 18th.
There are other problems that go along with this, but I can’t go into them without really grossing people out. Suffice to say that I have malabsorption issues. The doctor is testing me for Celiac disease. When I got my tests run, they took twelve (12!!) tubes of blood. Both of my inner elbows are bruised all to hell. I need better phlebotomists. 
So, if anyone is so inclined, a little positive thought and good wishes aimed my way would be appreciated. I’ll update here when I know more.
About Sheta Kaey
Aiming good thoughts and hopes your way, hon. I’ll light a candle and ask my local friends to do the same.
Thank you! I’m sure everything will be fine. I’m not ready to die yet. lol
Colorectal cancer runs in my family, too. Had my fourth ‘scoping’ a couple of weeks ago. The prep isn’t fun, but it’s nice to get a relatively clean bill of health from the doctor- minor gastritis, two small polyps that were removed. I have gluten intolerance, but the test did not indicate it, since I’ve been off gluten for almost a year.
Still, killing the wheat in my diet has done wonders for my innards, as has exercise and eating probiotic- rich foods like live-culture yogurt, kefir and other similar things. I no longer have IBS issues, which is nice.
Hang in there. Eat good food, and hope they’ll look at your Vitamin D levels- that made a big difference for me, as well.
Hey there! Thanks so much for visiting to comment.
I think that was my fourth one, too. I’m not positive but I can remember at least that many. This is the first one I have experienced lingering pain from. I’m guessing that’s because they took several biopsies — a detail I had forgotten but which my friend remembered (she was there with me). I need to get on some sort of probiotic. Is live-culture yogurt only certain brands, or is that typical? I’m willing to try almost anything at this point.
I knew if I cut back on my wheat intake before the procedure that it might flaw any tests, so I didn’t despite my doctor urging me to. And my (same) friend, who was in the medical field, says that biopsy is a more accurate way to test, so…. I really don’t want to be gluten intolerant, but I’m fairly resigned to the fact that I probably am.