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Success on Your Own Terms
19th December 2009 11:00 ∞ Celebrities, People, Rending the Veil, Reviews - books, Sacrifice and reward, Wow! ∞ Art, Links, Made of Win ∞ RSS 2.0
I’ve been emailing back and forth with Tonya Kay (see thumbnail), a new writer in Rending the Veil’s increasingly impressive roster of contributors. She is a uniquely special individual, and I thought I’d share some of her enthusiasm with you, along with some links. I’m not really familiar with her body of work, but her resume is wide ranging and steadily growing. She’s a 20-something, blonde, dreadlocked, attractive, vegan, nudist activist, and if that doesn’t set your mental wheels turning, I don’t know what will. She’s been on several television programs, including such diverse offerings as Showtime’s Live Nude Comedy, Criminal Minds, and the History Channel’s More Extreme Marksmen. And now she’s been immortalized in comicdom as well.
A quote from her press release for the comic:
“I want to see every woman daring to be her unique self. Whether it’s biased news, an unrewarding job, a mediocre relationship or destructive marketing, women and men both find themselves trapped in unfulfilled lives – essentially; turned to stone” says Tonya Kay, whose real life is a courageous example of daring to be unique.
When she is not volunteering with endangered wildlife or writing on raw vegan health and nutrition, Tonya Kay is a film actress and television personality in high demand. This year alone, you have seen her on the Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien, ABC’s Criminal Minds, Comedy Central’s Secret Girlfriend, Showtime’s Live Nude Comedy, the History Channel’s More Extreme Marksmen and she just shot a role on the Hallmark movie of the week.
“My dreadlocks used to keep me from booking, but I knew it wasn’t as simple as ‘cutting my hair’,” says Tonya Kay. “My uniqueness encompassed my spiritual beliefs, dietary choices and dangerous hobbies as well. I decided long ago that there is nothing wrong with me being bold, but rather there is something wrong with the uninteresting roles women are expected to play.” Tonya Kay’s choice to stay true to her self has rewarded her as Hollywood’s go-to girl for what she calls “the fun” parts. “I want to see the archetype of the unstoppable woman written into roles – written into society.”
“I am grateful for how my acting career has skyrocketed, though I am still looking forward to a film/tv writer to be a visionary, like Jim Balent, and write a break-through role for an unstoppable woman like me,” says Tonya Kay, who feels that art and performance affect world consciousness. Tonya Kay feels it is essential, now more than ever, for women and men to live their dreams. And she’s not afraid to show them how.
Her chaos magick offering to Rending the Veil can be found here. You can check out the comic book here or go here for an autographed copy. Photos of Tonya are available at her IMDB entry. I’m all for supporting anyone who is true to their essential nature and still manages to be successful. You go girl!
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All content ©Sheta Kaey 2002 and beyond for Spirit Companion.com. This work is licensed under a 
Creative Commons 3.0 United States License. Some Rights Reserved.
You know, I have to disagree with her consistent praise of Jim Balent as this bastion of female empowerment. Balent’s been known for years as one of the most notorious of the unrealistic T&A comic book artists, even back when he was still drawing Catwoman, and as I pointed out in my LJ a few weeks ago, just because you have a female protagonist doesn’t mean that you’re supporting gender equality. I’d be much more impressed if someone could successfully introduce a female lead character into mainstream entertainment whose success as a character didn’t ride on her sexuality to one degree or another, or where her gender didn’t come into play in some stereotyped manner.
That being said, I am all for normalizing “fringe” attributes ranging from veganism to paganism, and entertainment is an important vector for that. Granted, there are limitations that unfortunately have to be worked within–although nudism should ideally benefit people of all body types and physical abilities, I’d imagine that Roseanne Barr would make a much less effective theoretical spokesperson for the movement. But the general public takes a while to warm up to change, and slow progress is better than no progress at all.
In other words, I’m glad she didn’t chop off her dreads, either
I admit I missed your post at the time and I’m completely unfamiliar with Jim Balent. I also admit that it’s much easier to be seen nude, as well as being easier for the onlooker, when one is pretty and looks good naked. That pretty nakedness can’t hurt one’s confidence.
I agree with your post, btw, that comic females are ridiculous. I was laughing at a buxom woman on a video game cover yesterday, saying she was from the land of no-gravity, where tiny bits of cloth can stay on hugely over proportioned body parts without bursting. Gender equality and frankly, blindness, are going to be a much harder sell than doing away with exaggerated stereotypes. The world has a long way to go, but I think the Internet has done more to spread awareness and empathy for minorities in the last ten years than the civil rights movement did in the preceding thirty. (Thank god for fringe groups.)
Any port in a storm… if she and Angelina Jolie and the other omg-weird celebrities can do something to normalize unusual attitudes, I’m all for it, as well. (Though honestly, I can’t stand much about Jolie.) I like the dreads.
Very interesting about knowing thy will. I hope to be able to focus and work at being at least dedicated to my art this year. There are times when I want to go into that world and never return. If a person could focus (and I wonder what a person “pushes” aside to accomplish this sort of success) then greater things can be possible. I want to be good at something but not ready to put aside the routine things I cannot turn off to be solely dedicated.
The True Will is a major tenet in Thelema, my religion (such as it can be), as well as the Holy Guardian Angel. I’ve never told you much about it. It’s kind of high brow. lol
I don’t think people put aside routine things, but I think people who are dedicated will weed out other things that command big chunks of time better spent on their focus (in your case, art), and perhaps get their spouse to pull extra weight on some of the routine things — like a writer would do while writing a book (get his or her spouse to do more), or someone would do for a spouse cramming for exams, etc. But if you’re going to do all that, your focus should include a concrete, long-term goal (with smaller goals set along the way), so that you can gauge the progress you are gaining in exchange for the dedicated time. And stuff. lol
Hey, Lupa. I just wanted to share a quick personal insight to your intelligent and valid comment above questioning Jim Balent’s work with female empowerment specifically.
I’ve gotten to work with Jim closely this year, and I was concerned, too, that his great artistic skills would misrepresent my physique in comic. Hey, as much as I might or might not wish to have the proportions of a Jim Balent comic heroine, let’s face it – I do not. And I am a real person being drawn in this case – not a cartoon character. It was important to me to look like I really do.
Which is the personal journey of empowerment in this case. Yes, it’s true that when a woman takes her health, diet and athleticism seriously, that her body looks different than if she didn’t. But that does not mean I am not like any other human with my own set of insecurities and the act of of “baring” one’s soul, no matter what the form and figure’s shape, through nudity, movement or any form of truly vulnerable self expression is a deeply affecting magkical act. Yes, I take care of my body (it’s part of my spirituality) and yes, it is still a HUGE deal for me to feel confident nude.
To Jim’s immediate credit, he crafted Tarot from his artistic imagination specifically with large breasts to empower the women who, unlike me, have faced discrimination BECAUSE they have large breasts. I may never truly understand because I can ride my bike braless or wear a bikini to the club and receive very little judgmental feedback. However girlfriends with large breasts continually share with me that they are considered “loose”, “sluts”, or “obscene” when they wear anything with a normally dipping neckline, let alone consider ever going without a bra or actually celebrating their bodies or heck: sexuality in public. It is not the waist line in this case, that Jim is empowering, it’s the breast size being celebrated and still remaining the heroine of the story, with independent character, unattached to any man or Lover, navigating her magickal world.
Again, to his credit, Jim did not change my breast size at all when drawing me into the comic. And finally, to his empowerment credit, he has special fan photo features in every issue where every size, shape and spiritual path of REAL women witches is celebrated.
Lastly, I appeared with Jim and his wife and colorist Holly GoLightly at San Diego Comic Con this year and saw first hand the female pagans come out of the woodwork, lining up to thank Jim and Holly for giving them a hero that helps them find their own self-respect. Women like to read books with women heros. Heck, we do comprise over half the population and posses over half the world’s wealth. It only makes sense that we would be included as the heros of emerging media, as well. They thanked Jim and Holly for honoring their bodies – these women want to show off their Goddess forms and having one women do that, inspires us, proves it can be done, and we too take action to be more fully expressed in our sexuality. I mean, consider that a duality-based Christianity might still be the debatable sole reason that marriage exists and free love is publicly practiced by men without social judgement, but women … don’t we only have sex if we are in a monogamous relationship? Again, Tarot to the rescue.
Wow, that was longer than I thought it would be. I could go on for days, probably. And I really value your concern for female empowerment! I do, I do, I do! And I think your concern about the Tarot comic is understandably justified. I hoped to throw in some personal insight that may or may not open up even a pin point of shifted perspective on the subject.
On a somewhat unrelated note though, Ladies, don’t let society’s shaming of our bodies create a disrespect for our bodies. Our bodies are designed perfectly and we can love ourselves through diet, exercise and intimate pleasure without guilt. Go ahead: feed yourself of the nurturing earth, sweat and move your body every day, and make love with those who love you, too. Through self-love, you will know empowerment with a beneficial side effect of getting healthier and fitter and sexier every day.
Tonya Kay´s last blog ..Updated December 17th, 2009
Hi Tonya,
Thanks for visiting my blog, and for bringing your friends. Best of luck in your ventures!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tonya Kay, Sheta Kaey. Sheta Kaey said: "Success on Your Own Terms" Here: http://spiritcompanion.com/2009/12/19/success-terms/ [...]
while tonya is a beautiful bombshell, her beauty runs deep and, as you can tell, she does things her own way. she also urges everyone around her to do things their own way and she embraces beauty of all types.
jim balent may draw women of exaggerated and sometimes unrealistic proportions, but he has clearly given women who are different in more than just their body-type the kind of respect that tonya encourages and appreciates.
embracing your sexuality [as a woman or a man] is an essential part of becoming fully human. i’ve never understood why women reject their own sexuality instead of owning it, which seems the more likely way of taking it into our own hands.
Wow, K, well said! It really isn’t a gender issue at all, this sexual empowerment. It’s a human social issue that we, all of us, can only explore starting with ourselves. I do wish for everyone, including you and myself, the life consciously loved and shamelessly expressed. And yes, sexuality, in this culture, requires our special attention in that journey. Darkest day of the year to you!
Tonya Kay´s last blog ..Updated December 19th, 2009