Top 10 Reasons Why the Blog Layout You Created Sucks

Actually, this is really more of a list of reasons why I personally won’t use your layout, but that’s not as much of an eyegrabber. I composed this list after signing up for Bebo today and going through 50 pages of skins to find some I liked. Adjust according to site in question, but it’s more or less good anywhere. Also, no nagging on my joining yet another site that I’ll probably ignore. I also joined Tribe. I met someone who hangs out there a lot so it seemed like the thing to do at the time.

Top Ten Reasons Why the Blog Layout You Created Sucks

10. You put the date in the layout. Why do a layout called “Summer 07″ when it’ll be obsolete in three months? Just do “Summer” and let it be used three months per year! All that hard work for nothing. Stoopid!

9. Poor use of white space. White space, the space between areas of content on your page, is best used to create a segue, a flow from one area to the adjacent areas. Having a plain (for example) white “widget” background on top of a plain white page background equals a vast expanse of white that just turns me off. See also other colors in a flat, endless expanse of unbroken boredom.

8. Boring widgets/content areas. While many WordPress users appreciate a “clean” (read: sparse) layout, the idea on Bebo (and MySpace, and and and…) is to provide each widget with a header image and a footer image. The best ones make clever use of this. The worst ones repeat the header in the footer, creating two identical images adjoining between widgets. Yuck. Others leave out footers altogether. Blah. My favorites are the ones who use transparency to create interestingly shaped widgets and gradients to spice up the visual effect.

7. Too much repetition. Don’t use the image you’ve assigned as your page background to double as your oversized banner image. The impact is both overbearing and uninteresting. Mix it up. Complement. Accentuate.

6. Text on the banner image. First of all, to use fixed text on the banner image, it has to reflect a popular attitude and one that won’t wane in popularity in six months. Secondly, it has to be positioned right or the Bebo photo spread will cover it and make you look inept. My favorite of the day said: “Love is just a chemical creation.” Uh, right. Moving on…

5. Nonsensical use of text. Similar to #6 but not identical, nonsensical use of text includes random text bites added willy nilly that appear to refer to nothing – or worse, convey the wrong message. I saw a polka-dot layout that was quite charming, except for the widget headers, which all said “Dotty” on the right side. I wondered if that was the user’s name or the artist’s name… but evidently it was supposed to be a playful self-reference to the layout itself. Why? I wish I knew…

4. Too few colors in a non-monochromatic layout. I’m not sure that “non-monochromatic” counts as a word, but work with me here. Layouts with, for instance, two diametrically opposed colors but lacking a third, accent color fail to excite. When in doubt, introduce a little gray. It evens the tone and effect of the page without overpowering your color scheme.

3. Obtrusive credit placement. Blinking credit images or your url blazoned in 12 point type across the banner image is in poor taste, and ruins an otherwise gorgeous layout.

2. Animation. I can handle a very subtly animated page background or an accent image with a small amount of animation, but dancing images or anything that would send an epileptic into a seizure are definitely not on my list of cool things to sport on my page.

And the number one reason why your blog layout sucks:

1. Blinding color scheme, or Aaaah! The Pink! It buuurrrrnns! If you see an afterimage when you look away from the page to a white wall, your color scheme is waaaay too high-contrast. I know that I’m in the online minority who hate anything-bright-on-black, but it’s documented to be harder on the eyes, so nyuh. I can handle less painful colors on black, but red, white, or bright neon green (or bright neon anything) is a deal breaker. Similarly, a page done in all bright neon colors kills me and makes me very happy I don’t work in a daycare center. See also bold text on black. Egads.

Consider: If you give your page a black background, then make the modules themselves with a different background color, you don’t need uberbright colors to make the modules pop. Anything on black pops against the black background. Then your text can be a sane color that doesn’t give the reader a migraine. Anyone who has a black background blog (and I know some of you I love dearly do have these) is someone I don’t visit often, because it is painful (literally) to read. I used to have a black website, but I used a soft dove gray for the text, which isn’t so bad. Please no bright blue. And stuff. Thanks.

While I’m on the topic, the complementary color on the color wheel should not be used against its opposite; for instance, bright red should not be flat against bright green, orange near blue, yellow near purple. The combination in close proximity on a computer screen creates instant color bleed and makes that area very hard to look at. (Here’s where that gray comes in handy.) On the other hand, I’ll admit my personal tastes play into this and I prefer dark pastels – muted shades (I don’t know the right words, so forgive misuse. I promise to learn them.) of pastels which appear to be mixed with more black than regular pastels. I don’t like to read on any bright background, but if you held a gun to my head to pick a bright color, I’d choose white every time. I edit on white, I write emails on white. I view a black, bright red, bright blue, etc. page for five minutes and I’m whimpering.

Oh, and for the record, I have a great love affair with black. I wish I could use all these black layouts, cuz they’re gorgeous. They just hurt.

This post has been brought to you by the letter R. Remember, R is for Random. Have a nice day. (Is the thumbnail for this post irony, or what?)

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