Email to a Seeker (of the week)

I’m working on the glossary for the book – the last thing I have to work on. I’m also trying to remember to finish the survey I posted on Facebook last week (or earlier); I intend to post my answers here, assuming I remember. Right now, I’m going to post my reply to a young seeker, raised a strict Christian but who is looking for information on “basic tenets” of paganism. My reply is all I’m posting, so you’ll have to read between the lines to know what he asked. As below —

Thanks for your kind remarks about my site. Regarding the dragons, that’s just for fun and has nothing to do with any of the pagan stuff – which is why that page is in the Miscellaneous section. The spirit companion stuff is harder to answer. A lot of occult practices include work with spirits, but most of that is different than what I do. What I do can best be likened to shamanism, in the sense that I work extensively with very specific spirits and in particular one close to me, and I also do a lot of work on more subtle levels of reality – AKA other dimensions or the “spirit world,” to put it as simply as possible.

I’m curious as to what’s made you decide you want nothing to do with Gardnerian Wicca or Neopaganism. While I’m not a big fan of Gardnerian practices either, “Neopaganism” is just an umbrella term that means “new paganism” and refers to pretty much any nature based practice or religion. There are a LOT of neopagans who develop their own personal belief systems – how they choose to define “God” (or gods, or neither, depending on the individual), and every other aspect of their practice. Wicca, particularly eclectic Wicca-based paganism (on my site as NeoWicca) is essentially a gateway practice for thousands upon thousands of people who’ve grown dissatisfied with their childhood faiths and seek something that they can take an active part in. In my opinion, the very fact that you are questioning your childhood faith says, quite simply, that you want to be an active participant in your spirituality rather than having it spoon-fed to you. Seeking out a personal relationship with the divine is not evil or wrong or Satanic, or anything but what it is – a need to connect to deity and learn your answers through personal contact. It’s not all about what’s in a book, whether that book is the Bible or Random Wiccan Handbook of the Week.

It’s very confusing to begin to question one’s faith. If you were devout, it makes you afraid that somehow you are going to cross the line and be damned or doomed. But consider – if you wanted to work on a personalized relationship with the divine via study of esoteric practices, but did not do so out of fear of offending God, and tomorrow the Rapture came, don’t you think God would know that you were denying what your heart yearned for? I don’t think it’s about following rules or purging oneself of “sin” – to me, what it’s about is finding (or creating!) the faith that you can embrace with all your heart, all your love, all your devotion – and THAT is something God can approve of because it’s not rote, it’s not “oh gosh I have to make myself believe this out of fear of what’ll happen if I don’t,” and it’s born of a genuine effort to walk your talk and to become who you are underneath all the gunk everyone else has pushed upon you.

I don’t know how old you are, J—, and I don’t know how many times you’ll try to study any form of paganism or how many times you’ll go back to the strict principles you were raised with – or which, in the end, will “win” (so to speak), but if there is one thing I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, it’s this: Life isn’t about pain, and shame, and fear, and conformity. Life is about evolving into better people, growing closer to God (in whatever form you find resonates with you), and being honest with yourself above all.

If someone does the right thing out of fear, are they a better person than someone who has thrown off that fear but does the right thing just because it’s the right thing? Which would you rather have on your team? How do you think God feels about it?

As far as sites go, beware of misinformation because there’s a lot of it – anyone can make a website. There are no “basic tenets” of paganism because paganism is a general term, the way “Christianity” includes everything from Catholicism to Southern Baptism. The best place to start is with a thorough soul-search. Write it down. What do you truly believe, in your heart? What disturbs you, and why? Don’t give up one set of rules only to adopt another – in other words, don’t go looking for basic tenets so you can try to pigeonhole yourself into fitting them. Just find out who YOU are, and THEN worry about what fits.

Best to you,
Sheta Kaey