Weird Feelings

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed a number of timely developments in my circumstances that I would call synchronicity if I only had a better handle on it all. I mentioned that I started schema therapy about 6 weeks ago; this has generated a lot of back-burner thought processing and semi-conscious contemplation that, combined with seemingly random events, have inspired several realizations. Unfortunately, the three biggest ones occurred during a period of sleep deprivation and I can’t remember what they were. They dance just out of conscious reach, and I’m left waiting until they decide to download completely into intellectual reach (while I’m fully functional). Much like some dreams that fade upon awakening, these realizations feel important but defy efforts to force them into focus. Alas.

I know there was something I said in chat recently that was important (for my own work), and I can’t remember who I said it to. There was the dream I had the other night of Meridjet’s mother and Don. The conversation was the next day, I think, so I’ll end up searching my chat archives for that day. There were a couple more, and I really want to remember them.

I feel like I’m walking around half-aware most of the time these days, and there are unusual reactions to my environment. For example, I’m cold a lot in the past few days. Perhaps that’s simply due to the fact that the AC repairman on Friday moved the vents around and now they are blowing right on me as I sit here… but the feeling of being cold is weird for me so it’s enough, regardless, to make me feel out of sorts. I keep feeling randomly sad, for no discernible reason, too. I know there’s a lot Processing within, and I hate not knowing what it is.

Meridjet is still not around, though I picked up a couple of comments from him yesterday. I know that part of it has to be me ignoring comments because I don’t want our interaction to be limited to smart-assed asides from him through the day, only for him to disappear when we can spend any serious time together. I’m not sure how much of my resistance is shaping his actions, though.

I posted in a MySpace community on theoretical physics today about the anomalies in reality I’ve experienced the past couple of years; I watched Premonition this evening and it inspired the post, but it all feels somehow connected to my inability to recall what my realizations were. Just saying that… “I don’t remember what I realized,” sounds ridiculous, but hey, I seem to be running a couple of cylinders shy lately.

To top it all off, I don’t remember why I felt compelled to write about this… and it’s definitely unusual for a post to taper to a halt without a resolution. Oh well. Life goes on. Don’t miss the exciting conclusion to this edge-of-your-seat cliffhanger, next week! Same bat time, same bat channel.

Sheta Kaey About Sheta Kaey

I teach people to perceive, communicate, and work with spirits. Beyond that, I'm kinda normal.

Sometimes I write things. Sometimes I edit things. Sometimes, people even see them.

Comments

  1. Anonymous :

    hrm couldn’t tell you about the anomolies lately. though i’m sure the dreams all mean something. personally i’ve been doing a lot of dream work myself. maybe trying to gain more control in your dreams if you can may help? im not sure..im new to all of this for the most part. the schema therapy seems very interesting though.i find it all fascinating and always looking to learn more about it.good luck working it out and im sure he’ll come around.just give it time.i know though..how frustrating waiting can be.best of luck.

  2. If people call you crazy I know you’re not. I have a ghost following me around too. Me and him are really close. I have known him for about three weeks now. His name is Eric.

  3. Hi Kathleen, thanks for stopping by. I usually know I’m not crazy. ;)

  4. To Anonymous: Nice comment; sorry I haven’t replied before. You write as if we know each other….?

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