Meridjet and Lying, or Moral Ambiguity for a Cause

In an archival post from the old, defunct LiveJournal, dated 24 October 2003, I quoted an email regarding his ability to lie. My ideas have changed since then, but I am gonna go ahead and give you the old perspective first. The email text in italics, then the body of the post:

He doesn’t seem able to lie directly, but he isn’t inclined to tell me more than he has to, either.

This is typical from what I’ve seen. Now grok this: If you ask, “Is your name John Smith?” he can say yes and it’s somehow not the same as him flat out saying, “My name is John Smith.” I’ve been thinking about the fact that they [spirits] supposedly can’t lie but they can let you believe what you need to believe until the time comes where you need to be told otherwise. They can also hint at things in that infuriatingly cryptic way that leads you to believe something not true, until it needs to change. They can also tell half-truths and leave out the one clarifying thing that allows you to understand the truth itself. . . causing you to believe something untrue. Because technically, from their perspective, it is true, and they didn’t lie. They just didn’t fully explain.

I actually think that in terms of physical things, they could for example say, “Reverend Jesse Jackson is president” and it be true. . . on some other plane? Because my guides on the board used to tell me to go meet Meridjet (all walked in and riding in a body, though not fully in control yet) at some location and of course he was never there. I researched the town he said he used to live in and the name he said he had and he was not in the phone directory, nor was there a new number listed locally. Now either I was lied to (there had to be a lie in there somewhere, this was a very elaborate series of events and it all couldn’t have been sleight-of-hand — could it?) or, on some level I couldn’t touch, it was true. If it was a lie, then that’s the only time, ever, that they lied to me. Everything else they ever said was valid.

This is enough to make one’s brain explode. lol. It’s like that Star Trek episode where they make the computer explode by saying, “Everything I say is a lie.”

In recent months, I’ve tentatively decided that I’ve been fooling myself all these years and that they’re perfectly capable of lying. Why would they be subject to less free will than we are? Clearly, it’s reassuring to believe that they are incapable of malicious intent (because let’s face it, underneath it all that’s what I or we want to think). But it’s naive. I will go as far as to say that Meridjet has never deceived me in any way that wasn’t necessary for my growth because it always comes out to have a very specific point or purpose. Does he deceive me? Yeah. Does he mean me harm? I don’t believe so. In the 14 years I’ve known him, he’s never exhibited any sort of mean streak or joy in my pain. He does use pain for spiritual purposes, but it suits me because I have a need to feel that I’ve worked for my growth.

He is very similar to a tough martial arts teacher, in that he does not waver when I find the lesson difficult. He doesn’t give an inch, even when I feel not only that it would be harmless to do so but also feel that he really should give in a little. His support is not always when or how I’d have it if I had my druthers. But there are other times when I least expect it that he shows a profound sensitivity and willingness to go several extra miles to provide evidence (something that matters to me) and/or to provide touching, romantic moments that I don’t expect. (If I’m expecting something, like on Valentine’s Day, he’s more likely to disappear for the day, or, if he stays around, to resent the expectation that he needs to exhibit some canned emotional display based on the calendar. He can be so infuriatingly male that way. :-P )

He’s a very difficult, but extremely rewarding, teacher. Can he lie? I believe he can. I want very much to stop limiting my reality or his with rules created out of fear. This is one lie that needs to go away, and it’s a lie I’ve told myself. But my heart knows that he does not lie for the wrong reasons, and that’s the important part. He doesn’t lie for his own personal gain; he doesn’t lie to get out of trouble; he doesn’t lie out of spite, etc. He lies because there are things I need to discover in ways other than asking him to provide easy answers. In other words, I need to do my own work. He’s there for me, and he’ll walk with me, but I must do my own work. He facilitates that work, and stimulates things within and without to intensify it at times so I’ll learn better or faster, and that can be incredibly painful. But I’ve seen his own pain at knowing mine, and I doubt I’ll ever believe that he does anything to hurt me out of spite.

There have been a lot of people over the years who have witnessed his more severe moments and reacted with stunned surprise, because he is good, supportive, and kind to everyone, but very strict with me (despite being good, supportive, and kind as well — just not when it seems I’m in crisis). Some people have felt he is abusive, but only people who don’t know him. His friends know his heart, and once you know his heart it’s very difficult to doubt his intentions.

I’m rambling, and exhausted. I’ll continue this another day with more coherence, if it seems warranted upon re-read. Good night!

Sheta Kaey About Sheta Kaey

I teach people to perceive, communicate, and work with spirits. Beyond that, I'm kinda normal.

Sometimes I write things. Sometimes I edit things. Sometimes, people even see them.

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