Multi-tasking? More Like Juggling Cobras

I met my new therapist today. He’s the first therapist I’ve had since 1995. I have had a total of three in my life, and two of them were bad experiences. The last one was fantastic. The psychotherapist I met today, Dr. T, seemed to be open-minded enough. I told him that I was very spiritual, into metaphysics and the occult, and that if a therapist wasn’t open to these things that 90% of my life would never enter into discussion. I really live inside my head much more than outside it. This blog, to me, is just an expression of that — I consider this and discussion on these topics to be “inside my head” stuff; they’re not concerned with paying the bills or mowing the lawn, etc. I have always felt that I don’t belong here, and this whole mundane existence is puzzling to me. I have no patience for superficiality, and no use for it.

He said he studied metaphysics for a while and was very interested in it. He was unable, however, to name a single book title or author he’d read. This is mildly troubling, but not a really big deal. He knows Jung, and I intend to take him a couple of Robert Anton Wilson books, so that’ll be a very nice beginning. We had a lively chat today, and he told me that he was really looking forward to my return. ha. I get the impression from a number of folks at the MHMRA clinic (the mental health clinic system here, which is very good) that the majority of clients they have are not all that sharp-witted. It’s the poor people’s clinic, of course, because I’m a poor person. Many of their clients are just above transient level, talk to themselves, and so on. But it’s a well-run facility and there’s nothing remotely weird about going in there. I’ve been exposed to mentally ill people before, and as long as they’re not behaving violently, it’s fine with me.

Me, I’m bipolar. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder that has a bad rap from popular media always referring to obviously “crazy” people as bipolar, or as one show I saw put it, “Bipolar or schizophrenic or something.” Bipolar and schizophrenia only gain any similarity when a bipolar is manic to the point of psychosis. Think Anne Heche wandering into someone’s house a few years back. But I tend to depression, have only had two manic episodes of note in my life, and when I’m unstable I tend to mixed episodes or rapid cycling — the worst of both worlds. But I digress.

After I wrote my post this morning on the civil rights march, I was up chatting with a friend in Australia for a while and then managed to sleep another 2 hours. I had an alarm set but it did not go off; I woke up 15 minutes after I was supposed to get up, and immediately thanked Meridjet for waking me (so evidently I felt him at the time, though I don’t remember feeling him). I half suspect him of turning off the alarm. He’s done similar things before. Remind me to tell you the story of how he woke up a friend of mine. Anyway, I rushed out the door and hit traffic at a dead stop, but it cleared up quickly and by going 80 mph I managed to make it there on time. I saw four people — Dr. T (therapist), my psychiatrist, the nurse, and my caseworker. I left at 4:30 after arriving at noon.

Home again, and so tired. I need to shift my focus from blog-piddling to preparing the next issue of Rending the Veil, and then to finishing RTV’s long-neglected galleries and shop. (We have a new artistic contributor who is just amazing. Be sure to check out the Beltane issue later this month to get a look at his work.) We are profoundly short of content (if you write, submit something!!), mostly due to my being other-focused and completely spacing out that I have a job to do. The magazine deserves better, but it’s been a tough year.

RTV is seeking another back end guy to work with our webmaster. If you or anyone you know can do competent php, perl and all that neat stuff, and wants to volunteer some of his or her spare time, we’re interested. I would also love another page coder or two, and we seriously need a submissions editor who will dedicated some time every issue to seeking out content. Please consider what you have to offer, visit our staff page for openings, and write me an email with your interest. I don’t have as much time to dedicate to it on a daily basis as I once did, at least not right now.

I’m going to drug myself to sleep and ensure that I am rested by tomorrow. I may have a guest this weekend, and I need to clean.

*snore*

Sheta Kaey About Sheta Kaey

I teach people to perceive, communicate, and work with spirits. Beyond that, I'm kinda normal.

Sometimes I write things. Sometimes I edit things. Sometimes, people even see them.

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