Archival Post – Meridjet Manipulation

Archival Post – Meridjet Manipulation

In an archival post from 11 October, 2003, I refer to Meridjet’s methods of manipulating my emotions for the purpose of helping me see things. I refer to this as “Processing.” I started out referring to the processes of discovery via his manipulation and guidance, and gradually the word became a label, with a capital P. So now I have Processes in which I utilize processing to process what he wants me to learn. It’s a little on the ridiculous side, but it works for me. The post reads:

The Process came to the surface quite intensely yesterday. Meridjet was playing me like a violin, manipulating my emotions all over the place and hence bringing up a lot of little issues of the type you try to repress and buck up against. It’s just great, heh, always makes me feel so strong and in control. NOT. So I was facing things that started to look pretty large after you bring up all of its siblings, extended family, and friends. He let me stew in it for a while then went into contradicting himself, primarily to show me (what I already knew) that he was working and none of what he said mattered outside of what effect it had. A lot of what he said was reassuring, so at least I did have some respite. I was talking to a friend and he was encouraging that. Then I went to bed and he was talking to me, and I fell asleep and slept 11 hours, only waking once. I think he knocked me out, which would not be surprising, but yes, frustrating.

I got into a big conflict with Don night before last, and it sucked on a variety of levels. Last night he did not come online, and wrote today to say his ISP was down so he couldn’t let me know he wouldn’t be on. I wasn’t really expecting him. M hasn’t written him either, which is somewhat surprising seeing as how he didn’t say much to support me about it either. He usually doesn’t just stay out of situations that create that much ill-feeling.

Hope for more obviously constructive work today. I was so tense earlier that I took a whole Ativan rather than the half I normally take when I’m nervous or tense. I was so tense I had the shakes. I need M to come out and talk.

We may or may not find out what happened later, in posts to come. I haven’t read that far myself yet.

Sheta Kaey About Sheta Kaey

I teach people to perceive, communicate, and work with spirits. Beyond that, I'm kinda normal.

Sometimes I write things. Sometimes I edit things. Sometimes, people even see them.

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